Ahhhhh the sweet bliss of having a day off and relaxing. That’s what I’m doing. Last night I did a power class and gave myself an internal high five for kicking my ass and liking it! Sometimes I walk into yoga with no thoughts, I complete the class and feel great. Sometimes I’m somewhere between child’s pose and savasana wondering why the hell I felt I would enjoy Hatha this time. Sometimes I walk in to power tired like last night, and a surge of energy comes over me where I randomly can handle the challenging class but I’m pushing myself, sweating to death, flexible as ever and loving it.
That was last night…one of those yoga classes where I feel like that isn’t me staring back at myself in the mirror. Ahhh so wonderful and now I just made a lovely green onion/grape&cherry tomato omelet and I got back in bed.
hiiiii. me being weird.
What to do with my day off? Its crazy that a year ago I probably would have obsessive-compulsively filled my schedule with random friends to day drink with, or worked out with no intention, or hmmmm lets see a year ago I was also a full time student. Its crazy how things have changed. A year ago I tried to tell myself I was going to go into web marketing and complete school and be successful somehow. Today that is quite the opposite. Today I am not a student but a student to myself. Every day I read, paint, do yoga, workout or cook my own food. I also don’t have alcohol ruining my life anymore (for now…but hopefully forever). Today I could care less about anything else going on as long as I am working on myself. Today I’m not in a lying, horrible relationship like I was a year ago. Today I don’t have anxiety like I had last year hoping the person I thought I loved wasn’t cheating. Today I don’t think I am fat. Today I realize that I am beautiful whether I workout like a crazy person or lay on my ass all day. Today I don’t think that I need to rush through life with a purpose because I already know that I am all I need. Today I can count my real friends on my fingertips. Today I can afford my bills because I’m not charging my credit cards with clothes and living beyond my means.
Sure I still struggle small portions of all these things…but realize they are now just that. THINGS. Things never last forever. You will get one thing, person, feeling, and in time you will eventually want something else. If we are constantly changing our minds day in and day out…it really makes that temporary attachment to something not as important am I right? Attachment is something I’m learning to let go of.
random art i did the other day
When you stop expecting so much, you start appreciating what you have. You start realizing that happiness is doing what you love and doing it often. It’s taking care of your needs before your wants. Its letting go of the past completely and knowing that today may be all you have. Make the most of today and tomorrow will fall into place the way it will. If you try to control so much, you will become highly disappointed.
I’m making my year of being 26 the year I change. The year that I focus only on making my life better. I have so many dreams that id still like to uncover but I know it will take time. Yesterday I had my phone interview with the Baron Baptiste Level One training in Sedona this June. I usually try not to get too excited but after this phone call, I really am. I am so excited, I don’t even know what to expect but as some of you know, you know that there was a turning point this year when all I wanted to do was teach. I want to help people; it makes me happy when I do. I also just want to completely accept everything in life and stay present and I feel that it’s the biggest gift that I need to share to make other people feel the same.
